Untitled
by Blossoming-Bn3k
Summary: Kareli, Akatsuki's naughty, adopted child. She gets kidnapped and begins to play matchmaker. Everything works well and everyone lived peacefully until... Akatsuki comes to get their daughter back! Read Please! You won't be disappointed!
1. Akatsuki's Kareli

**Hey you guys, you must be wondering why I'm writing this story when I'm not yet finished with "Totally ****Girl Power****". Well, this is just gonna be a side story for when I'm bored, or am having a major writers block. Sooo... this is gonna be sooo random! This may also have modern day life things like cell phones and such. ^-^ Here goes!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters.**

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**Chapter 1 - Akatsuki's Kareli**

"Hello Boys & Girls, I'm Kareli. I'm Akatsuki's adopted child. They raised me themselves. That's why I'm very...naughty. ^-^ So, today, I'm going to tell you stories of my past."

"Once upon a time, in a land faraway, I was walking towards home..." I said staring greatly at my audience.

"Kareli! Stop lying to your extra large, torn, ugly stuffed toys and come eat dinner!" Kisame called from downstairs.

I pouted and stomped downstairs. "But it's story time!"

"You mean lying time, un." Deidara said entering the room.

We all took seats at our places in the table.

"Where did Itachi go?" I asked looking at his empty seat.

"Sorry, Itachi can't..." Sasori started.

"I'm here!" came Itachi's voice. I glanced at him, he looked very angry.

"I thought I tightly secured the deadbolts..." Sasori gulped.

"It's gonna take more than deadbolts to lock me in." Itachi said taking his seat.

"Whose fucking turn was it to cook shit today again?" came Hidan's cursing words.

"That would be...me!" I said.

"Well, where's the food Kareli?" came Pein's patient but demanding words.

"I didn't cook!" I said smiling up at them with innocent eyes.

"WHAT?!" Zetsu said angrily. His stomach growled and we all looked at him.

Everyone got up and left the room with faces like they're ready to kill. I stayed behind and reached under the big table and pulled out a lot of yummy, delicious food.

"Itadakimasu!" I said ready to dig in.

But when I blinked, the food all disappeared! I looked around to see the whole group stuffing their faces with MY food.

"Naughty girl." Konan mumbled with her mouth full.

My stomach grumbled and I decided to just go to Itsurake, the nearest town from here to buy myself food. I climbed the steps to my room and changed to 'cute, innocent' clothes since I was wearing an Akatsuki little suit. I picked up one of my large, torn, stuffed toys and headed out.

When I reached the village, I went to a food stall and ate there. The owner was fond of me since I've eaten there a couple of times before. But now, after eating, I decided not to eat there anymore since their food got...uh...boring? So I left without paying.

I was jumping from tree to tree heading to Akatsuki base when I bumped into something soft. I looked up and saw a very weird girl. She had pink hair, green eyes, pale skin, red shirt, gray skirt, and black gloves. Talk about colorful! She glanced at me and said with a kind voice, "Hey little girl, how did you get here? This is a dangerous place; rumor says some of the most dangerous criminals live somewhere here. Want me to take you home?"

"Don't you little girl me, for your information, I'm already seven!" I yelled at her. I hate being called 'little girl'! It sounds so... so... innocent! And I DETEST innocence.

"Naruto! Sasuke! We've got a naughty, loud, little girl who won't go home here." the pink-headed girl called as quietly as she could.

Instantly, two boys appeared beside her. One had blonde hair and whiskers. The other had a chicken-butt hair thingy and he looked very serious.

"Tie her to a tree until we finish our mission or something." the weird haired man suggested.

"Sasuke!" the pink-haired girl scolded.

"Ok, ok, I'm going home." I said. And instead of going back, I ran forward at top speed. Going around the base, did you think I'd lead them to Akatsuki base? While running, I snatched up my super cool cell phone, which I stole, and called my favorite dad, Itachi.

"Hello, Kareli? Why the heck are you calling?" came the voice I sooo love.

"Dad? Three weirdos are chasing me. I don't know who they are but two of them are called Sasuke and Naruto. They were looking for our hideout. I'm leading them towards Aianicha.

"Sasuke and Naruto? Let me guess, was there a pink-haired girl with them?" he replied unsurprisingly calm.

"Uhh...yeah...? How did you..." I wasn't able to continue because suddenly, two pairs of hands grabbed me.

"What the heck!" I yelled. The girl with the pink hair grabbed my phone and looked at the name to which I was calling. Good thing I named it Daddy01. Itachi and the others have always advised me about caution tips since we were the most hunted group. Good thing I listen once in a while.

The pink-haired girl put the cell phone on speaker and the three of them gathered around with me held firmly as if they were expecting me to suddenly run away again, which I was planning to do.

"Let her go and give this back. She knows very well where home is." came a patient but demanding voice. I stuck my tongue out at them and they had no choice but to let me go. But Sasuke kept a firm hold on one of my hands. His eyes held curiosity, distrust, and suspicion.

"But, mister. This girl is around an area where she might be exposed to utmost danger." the pink-haired girl tried to argue but the phone went dead.

"How rude, he hung up on me!" the pink-haired girl pouted. You know, I just noticed, she was quite beautiful. If you get used to her colors, she IS beautiful. Her colors just made her...unique. I held out my hand and she gave back my cell phone. I grabbed it from her and kicked them on their 'private parts' before running away as fast as I could.

**With Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto**

"Owww...!" the three groaned in pain, lying in the ground, and clutching their 'private parts'.

"Stupid little girl..." Sasuke groaned.

"Sakura, can't you heal us?" Naruto groaned.

"Not until I recover." Sakura groaned.

**With Kareli**

"I'm home!" I yelled storming into our base. I looked at everyone. They were carrying suitcases and filling them up with random things.

"We're moving?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious, un?" Deidara said grabbing a random flower vase and putting it in one of his suitcases.

"They found out we're around here so we have to move again." Pein said as he came out with Konan, their suitcases full and ready.

"When you're done, come and catch up." he said looking at the rest of us who were not yet ready.

"We will be waiting for you in the forest near Kasanasa Village." Konan said as he and Pein disappeared.

A few seconds later, Itachi came out with suitcases full and ready. "I'm going next." he said, disappearing in a cloud of dust.

And after a few more minutes, Zetsu, Tobi, and Hidan left.

Soon I was all alone. I finished my packing and headed out. I didn't go far when I met with the three people I wasn't supposed to meet.

"You!" Naruto yelled pointing an accusing finger to me.

"Uh-oh." I ran but didn't go far since they caught up with me. My suitcases were heavy and I was weighed down.

"You naughty, naughty girl." Naruto said as he tied me up to the tree. "You're not going anywhere 'til we're finished." he said, picking up my suitcases.

"I think we should check it." Sasuke said with a suspicious look. They opened the first suitcase. It was filled with big, torn, ugly stuffed toys. They opened the second suitcase; it was filled with 'innocent' clothes.

"Hn." Sasuke said with a suspicious look.

The pink-haired girl just picked me up and tied me to the nearest tree.

"Never mind this, we're wasting our time. Let's go! Sasuke, Sakura-chan!" And with that, they left. So, that girl's name was Sakura, huh? I think it fits her. Because of her hair. Now that I think of it, it does remind me of cherry blossoms. Now, what to do with this stupid chakra strings? I reached into my black hair and touched something in the back of my head. There, well covered by thick hair, was a small mouth. I reached into my pocket and got clay. I fed it to the mouth and out came a well-shaped clay. Time to go BOOM! So, yeah, I dropped it and it went BOOM! Man, I looooove explosions! I grabbed my suitcases and ran before they can come.

**With Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto**

BOOM! We all ran back to where the bomb went off and saw the tree, nothing but ashes, and the girl, was gone along with her suitcases.

"There's something very familiar about that girl." Naruto muttered.

"Aa." Sasuke agreed.

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**SO, yeah, I want to type some more but I'm tired. What do you think? Nice? Great? Awesome? Oh and btw, if you haven't read TGP yet, you should check it out. TOTALLY GIRL POWER, yeah!**

_**M.A.**_


	2. Boobs

**Hey guys! 'm Back! Sorry for the long wait and thanks so much for being patient with me. I'm such a lazy girl but lately, karma has been catching up to me and the stories I love most aren't being updated (pouts) so I figured that if I updated, my favorite stories probably would be updated too…(smacks forehead) I'm so superstitious...  
**

**Anyway, Specialest Thanks to Akatsuki-chan for being the first to review. It's a bit sad to hear that considering I practically LOVE Sasuke. I was merely stating the truth because Sasuke with a chicken-butt hair is true along with him being emotionally constipated and needing to go to a psychiatrist…hehehehe. But since you got to review first, going out of my way to find every chance to criticize Sasuke in this story would be all right I guess…**

**And Special Thanks Also To The Following For Reviewing:**

**Ino'-'Fangurl01 --- Actually Team 7 is not really the 'Enemies of the Story'. Well, okay, maybe a little bit but I'm writing this story through the 'Eyes of the Akatsuki' so normally, everyone else would be the 'Enemies of the Story'.**

**anomous nobody --- Actually this story is not in the original Naruto timeline but in a different dimension altogether. The Team 7 now looks exactly like the Team 7 in Shippuden except Sasuke didn't leave.**

**blacktangerine012 --- Really? It was my birthday gift then. ^^**

**Yeah, my author's note was extra long and I bet you're dying to read the story now, so go ahead.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me. But Kareli does. :P

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**Chapter 2 --- Boobs  
**

Yeah, so here I am, crouched down, keeping as silent as I could. I scanned their faces, ready to leap out in a surprise attack any minute…one...three…seven…eleven. There are eleven of them and only one of me. (sigh) On the count of three I'm gonna get them. One…Two…

"Kareli, we know you're there, come out now. We're too tired to play games with you." Konan sighed.

"Aw, you ruined my game of hide-and-hunt." I pouted coming out from behind some bushes.

"Play hide-and-hunt some other time." Pein said darkly. "Let's set up our base here. And Deidara, try to make less noise when setting off your bomb."

"Tche, who could silence a bomb, yeah? Art is a Blast, un. Blast with the capital B that goes BOOM." Deidara replied before standing up. Everyone picked up their suitcases and jumped a few meters away.

"How much space do we need?" Deidara asked Pein.

"Just enough for our rooms, a dining room, a living room, a comfort room, a conference room, a storage room, and a few prison cells." Pein replied.

He threw his suitcases at us and I caught one pretty easily but soon fell down under its crushing weight. Why did it have to be me that caught one of his ten clay suitcases? Yep, that's right, he brings twelve suitcases in all: One for his personal belongings, one for his clothes, and ten for his clay. And what will he do if he ran out of clay? He'll have to go to Jirutara Village about 1,567 kilometers from here. That's why he stocks up so much and drags it along with him every time we move. He usually starts with twenty suitcases but then as the time pass by, his supplies grow smaller. And now, there are only half the supplies left. He's lucky his bird carries it for him…

After that, we jumped a few meters back and watched Deidara get to work. After tossing us the super heavy suitcases, which he himself also had trouble tossing, he jumped up his giant bird and flew up really high. He then created five giant bird statues and then dropped his piece of art. And as soon as it touched the ground, it went BOOM! Aaah, music to my ears… The ground under me shook. The dust cleared revealing a ginormous hole in the ground.

Pein gave the signal to Kisame who, in turn, drew out his giant sword, Samehada and began chopping down the trees. Hah, the very sword used to slice people in halves was also being used for chopping down trees. Everyone got to work from then. My eyes couldn't catch up. They were jumping around like crazy. They were getting wood and stones and building our new hideout. Before dusk, our hideout was complete. It was supported by wood, the outside layer being stone, and had a roof with the same structure. We then covered the roof with dirt so that it would look like nothing was underneath. And the poor trees that we chopped, were replanted. We didn't want to arouse suspicion. People would wonder why this part of the forest had no trees. So meanwhile, while the plants were taking an impossibly long time to grow, Itachi put a genjutsu on the area showing that there were trees.

By the time they finished, they all turned their eyes expectantly at me.

"What? Did I suddenly grow tall and gorgeous with big boobs?" I asked after racking my brains to find that no, I didn't forgot anything. Their expectant eyes turned to one that would resemble shock or disbelief. And I could almost swear that if they weren't high-classed, emotionally constipated criminals right now, they would've been gaping.

"No, actually it's just your turn to set up a barrier a.k.a. trap around the hideout." Konan said finally finding her voice after a few minutes of staring.

"Oh" I said, I guess I did forget something. I continued on acting as if nothing big happened because really, nothing big did happen. Urgh, why are they all still looking at me weirdly? It's giving me the creeps.

"Because, dear Kareli, we're just so happy that you just said 'boobs' out loud and in public and act as if you say it everyday and it was no big deal." Itachi said sarcastically. Sometimes, I can't help but think that reading minds is part of what Itachi's level of Sharingan can do.

"No Kareli, it isn't." Itachi said as if answering my thought.

"Okay, I'm off." I said shrugging. I stood up and not long after, placed a genjutsu on the barrier. The genjutsu I cast tends to activate when someone applied force or chakra on it. Now about the genjutsu…hmmm…what should it appear like...?

xXx

I was still giggling to myself about that crazy genjutsu I put over our hideout when I returned to the living room. But when I came in, everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and resumed to staring at me weirdly.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"It's just so surprising to see how children's minds are so easily corrupted these days." Kisame said, shaking his head in mock sadness.

"Their minds are supposed to be innocent, un." Deidara continued.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not when you're raised by high-classed criminals, nope." I retorted.

"Oh so WE taught you that? I don't remember saying anything so vile…" Konan snapped back.

"Nope, you didn't say that. I just remember reading it somewhere along Kakuzu's vandalized walls in our last hideout along with words like fucking pretty, beautiful piss, bitch shit, hag whore, fat slut, and others of the likes." I retorted. And this time around, they did gape.

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**So yeah, to those who hate curse words, sorry, couldn't resist adding those final touches… So yeah, I hope my favorite stories gets updated soon too. Read and Review! **

**Ja ne!**

_**M.A.**_


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